Monthly Archives: February 2021

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Polygamy is the practice of having more than one spouse at the same time. This practice is outlawed in India, except for Muslims and some tribal communities, as their customary laws permit it. At the very top of the misinformation campaign is the propaganda that Muslims have multiple wives to have more children. Muslims in the country are subject to the terms of the Muslim Personal Law (Shariat) Application Act of 1937 which is interpreted by the All India Muslim Personal Law Board. But in a judgement of February 2015, the Supreme Court of India stated that Polygamy was not an integral or fundamental part of the Muslim religion and monogamy was a reform within the power of the state under article 25. This meant that although their personal law permits Muslim men to have as many as four wives, the Supreme Court has ruled that a Muslims fundamental right to profess Islam does not include the practice of polygamy.

At the very centre of the debate around polygamy lies the belief that Islam encourages polygamy, which eventually leads to population growth. The reality, however, is different. There is only one verse in the Quran (Surah An-Nisa [4:3]).

The only study on the subject of polygamy ever done was by the Committee on the Status of Women in India, 1974, which showed that polygamy as a practice was not just exclusive to Muslims but was prevalent among all communities of India. In fact, it was found that Muslims were the least polygamous among all the groups (Figure 4.3).

Trends through three decadal Censuses, from 1931 to 1960, confirm that polygamy cuts across all communities, is declining among all of them, and, most importantly, is least among the Muslims (Table 4.15). The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 imposed a ban on polygamy for Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists and Jains so it is quite possible that the numbers have changed in the years and generations hence. However, the Report of the Committee on the Status of Women in India, 1974, Ministry of Social Welfare was the last to look at polygamous marriages in India.

Also read: Former CEC S.Y. Quraishi busts myths about Islam and family planning in his new book

There is an interesting dimension missed by everyone. Polygamy is not even possible in India, as the number of women has been significantly lower than the number of men throughout the seven decades under study, as shown in Table 4.16.

Statistically, therefore, no Indian man has even one full wife! Each has 0.9 of a wife. Experts, in any case, are of the opinion that polygamy cannot lead to a high birth rate as the number of polygamous men, however few, would result in an equal number of unmarried men (who will not find wives). Another Indian study shows that the average number of children from the second wife of Muslim men was only 1.78 as compared with 4.67 from the first wife. Thus, it is clear that the presumption of a high polygamy rate among Muslims is unfounded and that polygamy is not a factor leading to high birth rate among Muslims.

There is one area in which Muslims fare better than all other religious communities. In India, Muslim children are more likely than their Hindu counterparts to survive to their fifth birthday, despite Muslim parents being poorer and less educated on average than Hindu parents. By age five, mortality among Muslims is about 18 per cent less than among Hindus.29 In their 2010 article titled The Puzzle of Muslim Advantage in Child Survival in India, Bhalotra et al. described this consistent pattern as the puzzle of Muslim advantage in child survival in India. It was demonstrated that no factor education, wealth, family demographics, state trends, cohort effects, development expenditure, village-level health services and health infrastructure could explain the Muslim mortality advantage that has existed since the 1960s. Health behaviours like breastfeeding, antenatal care or even place of delivery had very little role to play in explaining this disparity.

The only plausible explanation for the highest child sex ratio among Muslims could be the emphasis of Islam on gender equality. The sacred text of the glorious Quran bears witness to the fact that in Islam women are considered as vital to life as men. Men and women are equal and therefore have similar rights and duties, as given in the Quran and the Hadith:

Never will I waste the work of a worker among you, whether male or female, the one of you being from the other.

(Al-Quran 3:195)

Observe your duty to Allah in respect to the women, and treat them well.

(Prophet Muhammeds last sermon) Verily, women are the twin halves of men.

(Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi) And for women are rights over men similar to those of men over women.(Quran, 2: 228)

Also read: If India can look after pregnant women so well, why are more under-5 kids wasting & stunting

It is true that a Hindu-Muslim fertility differential persists in the demographic reality of India. However, this is due to the relative backwardness of the Muslims in almost all the factors that determine fertility behaviour, namely, literacy, income, access to services, etc. Nor will this gap in fertility persist for a very long duration, as the fertility level of Indian Muslims is steadily declining with improvement in literacy and living standards among them. Religion is not as important in determining fertility levels as it is made out to be, but factors like literacy level, age of marriage, exposure to mass media and economic factors come together to determine the fertility levels of Indian Muslims.

If religion were the only factor, then it would become rather difficult to explain the high unmet need for family planning among the Muslim community. The truth is, a combination of these factors and their inter-relatedness is the cause behind the relatively high fertility levels among Muslims. Lack of such an understanding could result in religion bashing and even communal violence, given the existing conflicts between competing religious groups like the Hindus and Muslims. It is, therefore, imperative to understand that the presumption that Muslims relatively higher fertility levels have their roots in Islamic theology, as well as the anti-nationalist propaganda against them, is completely baseless. They are merely a means to vilify the community and a part of communal propaganda by some vested interests.

This excerpt from The Population Myth: Islam, Family Planning and Politics in India has been published with special permission from Harper Collins, and will be launched on ThePrints SoftCover.

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Joe Darger and his three wives, Alina, Vicki, and Valerie. Pic credit: TLC

The Dargers are an orthodox Mormon family who lives in Utah. At the helm of the family is husband, Joe Darger, and his three wives, Alina, Vicki, and Valerie.

Between the four spouses, they share 25 children, including five children from Valeries previous (plural) marriage, and 17 grandchildren. Of the 25 children, one of Joe and Alinas children, daughter Kyra, passed away from a heart defect at just five months of age.

Joe married his first two wives, cousins, Alina and Vicki, on the same day during a joint ceremony in 1990. Alina is his only legal wife. He later wed his third wife, Valerie, ten years later. Valerie is Vickis identical twin sister. Are you keeping up with the family dynamic?

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The Dargers have appeared on TLCs series Sister Wives, a documentary entitled My Three Wives, and their lives inspired the characters and events in the HBO series, Big Love. The family also published a book about their lives. The Dargers went public with their familys lifestyle choice to bring awareness to the culture in hopes of decriminalizing it.

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The Dargers, aside from their unique marriage, are much like any other typical American family. They wear contemporary clothing, attend public school, play and coach sports, and attend concerts and sporting events. The family frequently posts on their Twitter and Facebook pages.

As told in an interview by NPR, Theyre not members of any organized polygamous faith, like Warren Jeffs FLDS church, and they are not welcome in the Mormon church, which officially renounced polygamy in 1890 and does not tolerate it now.

Modern-day Mormons denounce polygamy and members are excommunicated for it.

Joe is an entrepreneur who runs a construction company and real estate development company. Vicki has a podcast called Moms I Love and works part-time from home as a bookkeeper while she tends to the little kids at home. Valerie and Alina work for a family-owned residential and commercial cleaning service and also do seasonal decorating.

Unlike their fellow polygamist friends, The Browns of Sister Wives fame, The Dargers share one home, with only one kitchen. Joes three wives share the responsibilities of cooking and other household chores.

Each wife has her own bedroom and Joe rotates between the three on a nightly basis. They have clearly stated, similarly to their plyg friends, The Browns, that their intimate relationships are separate and its an unwritten rule to not speak about them with each other.

Plural marriage has always been a part of the Dargers lives. Joe is one of 17 children and his father had four wives. Vicki and Val have 38 other siblings and three moms. Alina has 31 siblings and two moms.

The foursome has written a book about their lives, entitled Love Times Three: Our True Story of a Polygamous Marriage. You can read an excerpt of their book here.

In a recent interview by The New Yorker, the Dargers detail how they met, how their marriages work like other typical marriages, and discuss how they changed the law against polygamy.

In 2017, the polygamist quartet fought to decriminalize polygamy in the state of Utah and won in February 2020.

Once a third-degree felony punishable by up to five years in prison in Utah, polygamy now carries a reduced offense. Essentially, it didnt legalize polygamy, but now they liken it to getting a traffic ticket.

You can catch the Dargers on this weeks episode of Sister Wives at 10/9c on TLC.

See the original post:

Who are The Dargers? Meet the polygamist family with one husband, three wives, and 25 children - Monsters and Critics

Not many years ago, then Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, David Cameron, sought to oblige African countries to recognise the practice and the rights of homosexuals in the various African countries.

Today, the newly sworn in President of the United States of America, His Excellency Joe Biden, is determined to ensure that African countries accept LGBTQ or be punished for failing to recognise such practices.

However, the practice is anathema to the culture and beliefs of the Africans.

The way these powerful countries are forcing their social practices on Africa appears to be forcing a bitter pill or a poisonous concoction down our throat.

Whatever is the whiteman's culture is right and must be swallowed hook, line and sinker. Nonetheless, whatever is the black man's practice is evil and uncivilized hence must be discarded.

The African practice of polygamy is evil and uncivilized to the Western world. It is even punishable. He who marries more than one is prosecuted for bigamy.

There is nothing the African countries can do to reverse this law of the superior master. Why should we on the other hand allow them to introduce something foreign to our culture in our countries?

If we were capable of managing our own affairs as rational human beings, could they do that to us? Will they ever dare ask Saudi Arabia to implement LGBTQ in that country?

African countries must blame themselves for their abundance of, and infatuation with, corruption. If our leaders are not used to stealing the nations' money to culminate in our reliance on them, they would not dare force us to recognise practices foreign to us as African nations and people.

Africans who have travelled abroad and believe in equality see nothing wrong about LGBTQ rights in Africa yet see more evil in polygamy.

Africans in general and Ghanaians in particular, will die of inferiority complex. Like the story of the Orwellian Animal Farm, "Four legs good, two legs bad", the black man in the whiteman's land sees LGBTQ as good but polygamy bad.

My hands are tied to my back so l will not go into the details of my viewpoint.

I believe fair exchange is not a robbery. Let them give African countries LGBTQ and Africa gives them polygamy.

I hope none of the overly irrational Ghanaian women abroad and their hypocrite pastors will come chasing me to hang for my suggestion.

Rockson Adofo

Wednesday 17 February 2021

Read the original here:

Can Africa ever Impose her Culture of Polygamy on the WesternWorld? - Modern Ghana

Kody Brown and his wives visit the Dargers on Sundays episode. Pic credit: TLC

TLC shared another sneak peek into Sundays Sister Wives episode, where The Browns visit their polygamist friends, the Dargers, in Utah, where they once lived when they were first introduced on TV.

The clip opens with the nine spouses gathered in the Darger kitchen. The wives are preparing food while the husbands chat about designing their dream homes.

Joe Darger discusses building their final dream home, which would still include one shared family kitchen and separate apartments for each of his three wives, Alina, Vicki, and Val.

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Everyone has a chuckle when Joes first wife, Alina, interrupts, adding that Joe also wants his own separate bedroom.

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A fan recently asked #90DayFiance's Julia whether Brandon's parents are swingers. Read the...

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Kody fist bumps Joe, excitedly saying, You want your own bedroom?! Ill never get that thatll never be allowed.

Christine confesses to the cameras that plural men never get their alone time, but plural women do. She theorizes that plural men get jealous of the time that plural women get to themselves.

Janelle comments that the Dargers are able to make their family work under one roof, with only one kitchen, commending them for figuring it out, like many polygamist families are able to do.

Janelle has made it no secret that she is an adamant supporter of the one-house idea for her family, which has since been met with rejection.

Robyn deservingly mocks Kody, impersonating him during her confessional. She imitates the way he complains about dealing with wives and their closets, saying, blah blah blah.

Apparently directed at Kody, she tells cameras with a smug grin, Youll survive! If I can survive sharing you and dealing with the jealousy and the drama and all the stuff that has to do with plural marriage, then youll be ok.

Kody takes Joe to the side while the women cook and tells him, I think one of our biggest problems is we dont have other polygamist families to fellowship with. Joe nods his head in agreement, seemingly agreeing with Kodys troubles.

Kody talks about how theres a feeling of safety and home when he sees the Dargers that makes him emotional.

Its hard being away from other polygamists. Its so different, he says.

Meri takes to the confessional and says their family is repeatedly separating. She claims that because they surround themselves mostly with non-polygamist families, theyre starting to react as individual families rather than tackling everything together.

She continues that there was once a time they pulled together and struggled together; she doesnt feel that theyre struggling together, but rather struggling independently of each other.

Meri says, It would be cool if it wasnt that way.

Christine adds that they could really benefit from being with other polygamists. She said theyve lived in the monogamous world for so long and its hard.

Its almost like we should move back or something, I dont know, reiterating her desire to move back to Utah, which was the original plan, rather than settling in Arizona.

Since the family fled Utah to escape prosecution for bigamy, the laws have changed and polygamy has been decriminalized in the state. This change in laws has many fans wondering if the family will return to Utah and reconnect with their polygamist friends.

Sister Wives airs on Sundays at 10/9c on TLC.

Read more here:

The Browns visit their friends the Dargers and talk about how being away from other polygamist families is tough - Monsters and Critics

The Malian politician, writer and womens activist Aoua Kita once argued that, The evolution of a country depends on the place that women occupy in the public space of that country. Today, Malian women face multiple and intersecting barriers that prevent them from realising this vision.

In a country with discriminatory laws, extensive polygamy and gender-based violence, and where husbands are often the sole decision-makers, Malian women live in an oppressive culture amid widespread poverty. To ease financial burdens, many Malian girls are forced to marry as children so their families can benefit from their bride price.

Empowerment can mean different things for different women. It can mean staying in school, negotiating more equitable relationships, or learning how to start a small business, in order to become financially independent and provide for ones family. Finding out how to do this is key.

Access to information is the route to empowerment and, in Mali, radio remains the main source of information. The country has 170 private radio stations, 121 of which are volunteer-run community stations. Radio is widely trusted, meeting a range of interests religious, community and confessional. It shares news from international sources such as RFI, BBC Africa, Deutsche Welle, UN radio and media development organisations.

Factual and awareness-raising broadcasts can raise womens critical and collective consciousness and help them gain greater control over their own lives. But this has to be done carefully. Women have to be accurately considered, both as radio presenters and as radio listeners.

Our research has shown that, when discussing a particular issue, women listeners in Mali consistently situate themselves in relation to many other people.

We conducted a content analysis of a series of women-related radio programmes produced and broadcast in 2018-2020 by Fondation Hirondelles Studio Tamani. We then ran focus groups among the studios listeners, before and after they listened to the series, to determine the programmes impact.

The focus group respondents said that womens activities tend to be conducted for, with, or dependent on others. Information targeted at empowering women should reflect this and consider women within their web of relations. This means how women live in relation to other people, and to collective cultures and norms that influence and shape their lives.

Among all the people we interviewed, men and women alike, empowerment for women meant independence, but never from children. Such independence would empower women to make decisions about their family life and support their wider communities.

For younger women respondents, empowerment could mean being able to make their own decisions and not being restrained by a future husband. But none of them considered a future without a husband. Independence did not necessarily mean being on their own.

It became clear that womens empowerment in Mali cannot be reduced to a matter of individual choice or agency. It refers to collective agency and decision making. This is in stark contrast with the emphasis often found in development campaigns.

Development programmes tend to regard womens empowerment as an individual issue. They can artificially isolate women from the socio-cultural traditions that surround them. They do not fully consider the many webs of relations that can be affected by potential changes in empowerment. Nor do they consider the webs that can influence womens lives and their freedom to make decisions.

Our study showed that radio can effectively represent the complexities of womens lives. It can help women navigate the many obstacles they face by broadcasting diverse and varied information about womens rights. If the information uses examples and role models which are free from negative stereotypes or stereotypical representations, it can have a positive impact on raising awareness.

The radio programmes portrayed women in relation to others (in-laws, siblings, widows, husbands, men, family and children) and to other groups or roles, cultural and structural values or webs which shape womens status. The contents rarely portrayed women as individuals; they were always associated with others. However, they were often in secondary positions, for example, in relation to in-laws and husbands, upholding social norms.

Studio Tamani, as a radio studio, is normalising debate on womens issues by broadcasting women-related programmes. This is a first step to taking advantage of radio as an ideal medium for creating an empowering environment. But for this to be effective for collective empowerment, women must not be extracted from the web of relations that surround them.

Malian women do not speak with one voice, so their diverse perspectives, experience and expertise must also be considered in radio broadcasting. This will go some way to offsetting the individualistic perspectives portrayed in development contexts, particularly with regard to their empowerment.

See original here:

Radio in Mali can empower women by remembering they are part of a social web - The Conversation CA

BERNARD Namayonga (50), a polygamist in the Zambezi region, says he has found the perfect formula for keeping his two wives happy, despite them sharing a husband.

Namayonga married his first wife at the age of 25, and 15 years later married his second wife.

This means he has been in a polygamous marriage for the past 10 years.

Namayonga says he is dedicated and committed to both wives and they are a happy family despite challenges.

Having two or more wives is not easy to handle them you have to have a heart. For instance, if I give them both N$100, one would use it wisely, and the other one would not. She would waste it and start complaining. That is how you would know who has a problem and who does not,'' he says.

He says he has learnt to live with the challenges that come with a polygamous marriage, adding he had to formally ask his first wife for permission before taking his second wife.

Even though it was a hard decision to build two homes, I had no choice, because it inspired me, he says.

Namayonga says he has made peace with constantly mediating between his wives due to petty fights, unnecessary competition and jealousy.

The wives seem to be competing, and they are jealous of each other for no reason, as they are getting the same love, affection and attention, he says.

A recent survey by The Namibian shows that polygamy is a common practice in the Zambezi region.

Men in this region believe they can have more than four wives under one roof, as long as they look after them.

This is despite traditional leaders and community members speaking out strongly against polygamy, forced marriages, widow inheritance, widow cleansing, dry sex and the high price of lobola.

They say these practices violate women's rights to be in charge of their own bodies and lives, thereby fuelling the prevalence of HIV-AIDS in the region.

So widespread is the practice that it is also said to be encouraging forced marriages, which involves young girls being married off at a tender age.

Albius Kamwi, one of the Masubia traditional leaders, says such marriages are not appropiate today, but long ago marrying two or more wives was respected.

Some people marry more than one wife, because their partner cannot have children, but they love her. They therefore have no choice but to marry another woman who can give them children, he says.

Having many children is a blessing, because they replace those we lost. We name the children after those who passed on to show that even if they are gone, we do not forget them, he says.

Kamwi says times have changed though, and today it is not necessary to have many children any more.

Children's education, medical needs, clothes and food have become too expensive, he says.

I do not see the need to have more than two wives, he says.

'NOT EASY'

Albertina Kawayo has been in a polygamous marriage for most of her life and says it has not been easy, but she has learnt to adapt.

I'm not against polygamy, but being in this marriage is not easy at all.You will start sinning if you are not careful. In this marriage there are too many fights, competition, and jealousy, and you can find yourself poisoning your husband, because sometimes they come with bad manners. You tell them, but they don't change, she says.

Kawayo had no choice when her now late husband one day told her that he wanted to bring another wife into their home. Kawayo further explained that the family has grown and has 13 kids in total, which has made their bond very strong.

Shaun Whittaker, a Windhoek psychologist, says polygmous marriages are a burden to men and their spouses.

The man is burdened with the heavy responsibility of sustaining a big family, which sometimes can be very depressing.

And the wives are deprived psychologically.

This leads to child negligence, as children do not receive the same amount of love and attention, and are less supported.

I don't really support polygamy, because it is better to choose happiness where you are loved and respected, Whittaker says.

He says men have favourites and there is too much competition in this type of marriage.

Whittaker says if a man wants to take in another woman his spouse must file for divorce, because women and children go through a lot.

They may not show it, but it is to their detriment mentally, emotionally and financially.

In some cases women are abused and the children could resort to drugs, alcohol, and theft.

Woman are strong and brave, therefore they should stop torturing themselves settling for less. Why would a man take in another woman if he truly loves you? If your husband wants to marry another woman, ask him for a divorce , he says.

My advice to women is to stop settling for less. You are better than that. If there's no love in your relationship, take your children, comfort them and support them, because no one is going to love them the same way you do.

* This story was produced with the assistance of the Google Grant.

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'I have two wives and we're happy' - Namibian