Monthly Archives: July 2017

Cyberpunk 2077 To Feature Photorealistic Environments … – SegmentNext

Posted: July 28, 2017 at 7:23 pm

CD Projekt RED released The Witcher 3 back in 2015 and to this day it is one of the best looking games out there. The developer is currently working on a futuristic title called Cyberpunk 2077. The game is still far from release and there are minimum details available.

However, a new job listing has pointed out something very interesting about Cyberpunk 2077. According to the listing posted by CD Projekt RED, the game features Photorealistic graphics. The listing confirms that Cyberpunk 2077 developer is putting extra focus on the visual appearance of the title.

CD PROJEKT RED is currently looking for talented artists to join our environment art team in Warsaw to work on Cyberpunk 2077. The Environment Artist will create a wide range of photorealistic environments in futuristic settings, covering also physicalized objects and destruction models.

The artist they are looking for will be responsible for creating photorealistic environments with original textures using various tools and middleware. The game is also believed to be featuring destroyable environments.

This also indicates that PC gamers would require a hefty piece of graphics hardware to run the game. The Witcher 3 proved to be a very demanding title for PC users.

While amazing graphics and environment is something commonly found in modern games, there is one element thats unique about the new game.

Most games that are played on tabletops run a fairly simple group of classes, from warrior to barbarian to paladin to cleric to thief. The Cyberpunk 2077 classes, however, are going to be a little bit different. Based off the tabletop game Cyberpunk 2020, classes in the game include journalist, executive, rock star, and more.

Cyberpunk 2077 is releasing on PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC. No final release date has been announced. However, its promotional campaign is ready to go.

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Cyberpunk 2077 Dev Team Expansion Reveals Graphics To Be … – One Angry Gamer (blog)

Posted: at 7:23 pm

(Last Updated On: July 27, 2017)

Cyberpunk 2077 is a sci-fi RPG currently in development and has no gameplay footage for the public to see just yet, but the game has a lot of anticipation surrounding it. As of now, CD Projekt Red seems to be making progress on the game in that the team recently posted up its development team is expanding, revealing that the game will have photorealistic graphics.

CD Projekt Red recently posted up a new batch of job listings via Twitter for its upcoming sci-fi RPG entitled Cyberpunk 2077. The game has a lot of people looking forward to its video game adaptation, as well as the upcoming tabletop game that is set to release around the same time as the video game version.

Looking to step things up a notch from the Witcher 3 to Cyberpunk 2077, the devs behind both titles upgraded the third iteration of RedEngine (the companys game engine) to RedEgnine 4. The step in upgrading the game engine will obviously give the devs behind the upcoming cyberpunk title more room to add better features, like what one of the new job listings reveal which is photorealistic original textures. Additionally, games like Battlefield 1 and Star Wars: Battlefront EA uses a similar photorealistic system that produces graphics that will hold up well in the years to come thanks to the Frostbite.

In addition to the above, the job of the Senior Environment Artist is set to produce such quality graphics for Cyberpunk 2077 and is followed by more job listings:

Moreover, my being a gamer and a crazy fanatic of all things cyberpunk, Cyberpunk 2077 has my attention and many others, and seeing that the game is slated to come out somewhere around 2019 or 2020 means that a lot could go into this game thanks to the game engine receiving an update. This means that the game could potentially be unlike any other cyberpunk title on the gaming market.

Lastly, given Cyberpunk 2077 is using photorealistic graphics in an open world with destructible environments, it could be likely that the game will not debut for PS4 and Xbox One, but the generation of consoles afterward given that the devs want to release it for the latest consoles and for PC when it is complete.

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Rutger Hauer Stars as a Neural-Detective in New Cyberpunk Horror-Thriller Game Observer – Niche Gamer

Posted: at 7:23 pm

Polish studio Bloober Team are working on a promising new game titled simply Observer. The game starsRutger Hauer, whose name will be instantly familiar to any fans of the original Blade Runner. We actually wrote about the game last year, however the new reveal today is Hauer leading the experience.

While Hauer starred as the leader of a band of murderous replicants in Blade Runner, hes kind of jumping to the other side of the equation with his role as an the eponymous Observer a neural detective that hacks into the minds of people in search of clues behind crime cases.

Featured above, you can view the games latest trailer, which showcases Hauers velvety chords as Detective Daniel Lazarski.

The cyberpunk horror story begins when you get a strange message from your estranged son, a high-level engineer for the powerfulChiron Corporation. Sound familiar?

Set in the year 2084, most of humanity has been wiped out and those who survived live in a disgusting, near-uninhabitable world that sees most people living out their days in drugs, or virtual reality. Each mind hack brings with it horror-like experiences how far will you go in search of the truth?

Here are the games key features:

Observer is launching on August 15th across PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One.

Big Papa Overlord at Niche Gamer. Italian. Dad. Outlaw fighting for a better game industry. I also write about music, food, & beer. Also an IT guy.

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America’s Infrastructure Remains a Topic of Spirited Debate: How Can TMS Help Users of the Nation’s Highways Avoid … – Logistics Viewpoints (blog)

Posted: at 7:22 pm

Infrastructure is a topic most of us dont think about. We just expect it to work in the same way we expect the lights to come on when we flip a switch. However, there has been increasing concern by trucking companies, shippers, and even the U.S. Chamber of Commerce that the infrastructure we all count on safe roads, bridges, waterways is showing its age and in need of repair.

That is not surprising when you realize that our interstate highway system was created in the 1950s. Since that time, commercial and passenger traffic has grown exponentially, while arguably, investments and repairs have not kept pace. According to the American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE), Americas roads are often crowded, frequently in poor condition, chronically underfunded, and dangerous.

The ASCE recently gave our roads and bridges a score of D+ on a scale of A-F, with F being a failing grade. Their report also puts a price tag on the congestion that they say impacts every two out of five miles of Americas urban interstates $160 billion in wasted time and fuel in the calendar year 2014 alone.

For supply chain managers, the impact of our nations infrastructure is about more than a long commute to work. It is about delays that could make it harder to get products to market and more difficult to compete, as well as potential capacity issues as carriers strive to deliver just-in-time service while dealing with congestion, poor road conditions, and increased costs for fuel and labor when trucks are forced to sit in traffic.

Many groups and advocates are proposing a variety of solutions to the current and pending infrastructure crisis in America. While we may be limited in our ability to impact the governments plan for infrastructure, we can take advantage of technology to mitigate the impacts of the issue on our businesses and supply chains.

Here are the top four ways that a Transportation Management System (TMS) can help you navigate the often crowded road ahead.

Routing

One of the most common features of a TMS solution is its ability to route freight movements. If your TMS provides control tower visibility across both inbound and outbound shipments, the technology can help you find the most direct routes and eliminate empty miles. And with flexible and customizable TMS solutions, you can proactively plan around areas of gridlock. This will keep your freight moving, not stuck in traffic.

Mode optimization

With a TMS that has a single platform for all modes of transportation parcel, less-than-truckload, truckload, ocean, air, rail, and intermodal you can optimize loads. For example, several small parcels can become one less-than-truckload (LTL) shipment, or multiple LTL shipments can be consolidated into one truckload. A good TMS optimization tool will ensure that you have the ability to quickly review multiple scenarios, building in service commitments as well as past experience that you have had with specific carriers. You may experience a reduction in overall transportation spending, and with fewer, fuller trucks on the road, everyone benefits from less congestion on already crowded highways.

Fleet management

For companies that use a combination of a private fleet and outside carriers, deciding how to best utilize all of these assets can be a challenge. For example, should you move a shipment from Charlotte, NC to Miami, FL on your private fleet when the chances are the truck will return from Miami empty? If so, can you search your entire network for a backhaul opportunity? A TMS that offers fleet management solutions can help you make those types of decisions and can also help you to maximize all of your assets, with complete and current data about drivers, equipment and operations. If a driver is stuck in a traffic jam and nearing the end of their hours of service (HOS), that is information you need sooner, rather than later.

Access to capacity for backhauls

TMS solutions can also offer quick and easy access to information about available capacity, helping you to secure backhauls to offset imbalances. Some systems provide you with the ability to view all of the options available on private and public bid boards, and you can save time by using automated email messages regarding loads. Again, this will help you avoid empty miles, which add unnecessary costs to your supply chain and place even more strain on the nations roads and highways.

When it comes to infrastructure, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce sums up the issue very succinctly, Most Americans agree that our roads, bridges, mass transit systems, air, and seaports and water infrastructure are critical national assets that drive growth, jobs, and global competitiveness. What we cant seem to agree on is how to pay for badly needed maintenance and repairs.

Clearly there is not an easy or obvious solution. But, technology solutions like TMSs can help supply chain managers avoid extra costs and gain efficiency even when dodging potholes.

Karen Sage isMercuryGatesChief Marketing Officer (CMO) responsible for the companys global marketing, communications, sales enablement, and go-to-market efforts. She is a veteran with 20+ years of experience in business-to-business marketing and communications helping several industry leaders launch disruptive new categories, accelerate revenue growth, build leadership brands, and establish marketing organizations that scale globally. She comes to MercuryGate most recently from the spend management solution provider, SciQuest. Prior to SciQuest, she was at CA Technologies where she served as vice president of marketing leading rapid growth initiatives. Her experiences leading growth also include multiple leadership roles during a 15-year stint at Cisco. Karen started her career having invented the NETSYS Performance tools at NETSYS Technologies, Inc., which was acquired by Cisco in 1996.

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America's Infrastructure Remains a Topic of Spirited Debate: How Can TMS Help Users of the Nation's Highways Avoid ... - Logistics Viewpoints (blog)

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Placing the Spotlight on Targeted Microwave Solutions Inc. (TMS.V): Technical Stock Update – Financial Newsweek

Posted: at 7:22 pm

Targeted Microwave Solutions Inc. (TMS.V) shares are moving today onvolatility10.00% or $0.005 from the open.TheTSXV listed companysaw a recent bid of0.055 and62000shares have traded hands in the session.

Stock market investing can sometimes cause investors heads to spin. Following stocks on a daily basis, it is plain to see the amount of coverage that follows certain companies. This non-stop barrage of information may eventually become overwhelming for the novice investor. Filtering through all the data may involve taking a look at a company or stock from multiple angles. There are many investors out there that preach strictly following fundamental data. There are others that swear by the technical analysis. Many investors will opt to employ a research strategy that involves pieces of the two approaches. Knowing every little detail about a company may not be overly necessary, but it may help provide a bit more direction when navigating the stock market maze. Investors who put in the time to study all the fundamentals may want to also start watching the charts on stock that they are thinking about adding to the portfolio. Making sure that no stone is left unturned when examining a stock may end up being the difference between a big winner and a big loser.

Now letstake a look at how the fundamentals are stacking up for Targeted Microwave Solutions Inc. (TMS.V). Fundamental analysis takes into consideration market, industry and stock conditions to help determine if the shares are correctly valued. Targeted Microwave Solutions Inc. currently has a yearly EPS of -0.11. This number is derived from the total net income divided by shares outstanding. In other words, EPS reveals how profitable a company is on a share owner basis.

Another key indicator that can help investors determine if a stock might be a quality investment is the Return on Equity or ROE. Targeted Microwave Solutions Inc. (TMS.V) currently has Return on Equity of -124.73. ROE is a ratio that measures profits generated from the investments received from shareholders. In other words, the ratio reveals how effective the firm is at turning shareholder investment into company profits. A company with high ROE typically reflects well on management and how well a company is run at a high level. A firm with a lower ROE might encourage potential investors to dig further to see why profits arent being generated from shareholder money.

Another ratio we can look at is the Return on Invested Capital or more commonly referred to as ROIC. Targeted Microwave Solutions Inc. (TMS.V) has a current ROIC of -108.54. ROIC is calculated by dividing Net Income Dividends by Total Capital Invested.

Similar to ROE, ROIC measures how effectively company management is using invested capital to generate company income. A high ROIC number typically reflects positively on company management while a low number typically reflects the opposite.

Turning to Return on Assets or ROA, Targeted Microwave Solutions Inc. (TMS.V) has a current ROA of -95.05. This is a profitability ratio that measures net income generated from total company assets during a given period. This ratio reveals how quick a company can turn its assets into profits. In other words, the ratio provides insight into the profitability of a firms assets. The ratio is calculated by dividing total net income by the average total assets. A higher ROA compared to peers in the same industry, would suggest that company management is able to effectively generate profits from their assets. Similar to the other ratios, a lower number might raise red flags about managements ability when compared to other companies in a similar sector.

Investors may be taking a closer look stock market trends as we move into the second half of the year. Investors often have to grapple with the timing of selling a stock. After all the research is done and the portfolio is rounded out, the time will eventually come when decisions need to be made about whether to hold a winner or sell to lock up some profits. Often times, investors will hold on to a certain stock for much too long letting profits erode. Thinking that a hot stock will keep going higher and higher, may lead to lost profits further down the road. On the flip side, investors may become emotionally attached to a stock and not be able to part ways when the time has come. Avoiding the trap of waiting for a stock to bounce back and just break even can lead to the undoing of the portfolio. The belief that a particular stock will definitely come back to the buying level may leave investors out in the cold. Being able to keep the emotions in check and stay focused on the pertinent data, may help the stock portfolio thrive into the future.

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Placing the Spotlight on Targeted Microwave Solutions Inc. (TMS.V): Technical Stock Update - Financial Newsweek

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Tufts Hosts Engineering Conference – Tufts Now

Posted: at 7:22 pm

Tufts University is academic host and co-sponsor of the 2017 IEEE Midwest Circuits and Systems Symposium, to be held Aug. 6-9. The symposium will include oral and poster sessions, a student paper contest, tutorials by experts in circuits and systems topics, and special sessions. All areas of electronic circuits and systems will be covered, including the latest innovations in the field.

The three keynote speakers are Linton Salmon, Jesse Wheeler and Donhee Ham. Salmon, a program manager at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, will give a keynote titled Microelectronics: Challenges and Opportunities on Aug. 7; Wheeler, the neurotechnology business lead at Draper Laboratory, will speak on Neurotechnology: Biomedical, Biomimetic, and Beyond on Aug. 8; and Ham, the Gordon McKay Professor of Applied Physics and Electrical Engineering at Harvard University, will speak on CMOS Electronics See Inside Biological Cellular Networks on Aug. 9.

Tufts Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering is well represented at the symposium. Associate Professor Valencia Joyner Koomson is technical program co-chair; Professor Sameer Sonkusale is publications co-chair; professor and department chair Eric Miller is advisory committee co-chair; and associate professors Mark Hempstead and Thomas Vandervelde are on the technical program committee.

Tufts undergraduate and graduates students will be presenters at the conference. Among them is Joel Dungan, a doctoral student in electrical and computer engineering, who has been selected as a finalist in the student paper contest.He will present research work on the development of a platform to study intercellular communication in non-neural cells as it relates to developmental biology and morphogenetic bioengineering. Co-authors on the paper are Koomson, biology postdoctoral scholar Juanita Mathews, and biology professor Michael Levin.

Other Tufts students presenting their research will be doctoral candidates Meera Punjiya,Yun Miao, Abigail Licht, John Chivers, Emily Carlson and Jun Jadormio, along with former undergraduate student Andrew Bourhis, E17.

For more information, and to register, go to the 2017 IEEE Midwest Circuits and Systems Symposium website.

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Stryker reports 6.1% Q2 growth, installs 26 Mako systems: 7 things … – Becker’s Orthopedic & Spine

Posted: at 7:22 pm

Stryker reported 6.1 percent net sales growth for the second quarter of 2017, and raised full year guidance due to strong performance.

Here are seven things to know:

1. Stryker net sales reached $3 billion in the second quarter, a 6.1 percent increase over the same period last year. U.S. sales hit $2.2 billion, up 2.4 percent, while international sales were $811 million, a 2.7 percent growth over last year.

2. Orthopedics net sales hit $1.1 billion, up 5.5 percent over the same period last year. Here is the breakdown by segment:

Knee: $389 million, up 5 percent Hip: $322 million, down 0.3 percent Trauma and extremities: $351 million, up 7 percent Other: $79 million, up 32 percent

3. Stryker's MedSurg net sales were $1.3 million, a 6.2 percent increase over 2017. Here is the breakdown by segment:

Instruments: $392 million, up 4.1 percent Endoscopy: $406 million, up 13.9 percent Sustainability: $64 million, up 10 percent

4. Neurotechnology and spine net sales were $500 million, up 6.9 percent over the second quarter of 2017. Spine sales hit $183 million, a 2.9 percent decrease, and neurotechnology increased 13.9 percent to $352 million.

"We have some challenges [in spine] the market overall looks to be challenged certainly in this quarter," said Katherine A. Owen during Stryker's quarterly conference call, according to Seeking Alpha's transcript. "We've had some Stryker issues as we work through some of the supply challenges, but on the positive front, those do appear to be moderating for us. And we're also seeing really strong demand, but we are capacity constrained for our Tritanium products."

The company has several projects in research and development, and as a result expects to see improvement long term.

5. Net earnings increased 2.9 percent to $291 million in the quarter.

6. Stryker now expects 2017 organic net sales growth between 6.5 percent and 7 percent.

7. In the second quarter, Stryker reported 26 Mako robots were installed globally, a 5 percent increase over last year. There were 20 new systems installed in the U.S., and the company expects to "largely complete all U.S. system upgrades during 2018." There are more than 400 surgeons trained on the Mako system to date.

More articles on orthopedic devices:

Smith & Nephew reports $1.2B in Q2 revenue Zimmer Biomet reports $1.9B Q2 sales NuVasive reports better than expected Q2, revenue reaches $260.6M: 5 key notes

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$900 a ticket! FC Barcelona vs Real Madrid CF El Clasico fever grips Miami – Hindustan Times

Posted: at 7:21 pm

The new La Liga season is still weeks away, but try telling Miami that Saturday nights El Clasico at a sold-out Hard Rock Stadium is meaningless.

For the first time in over 35 years, FC Barcelona and Real Madrid C.F. will meet on foreign soil. Its also the first encounter between the two sides in the United States.

Back in 1982, the match staged post-season in Venezuela, coming just before that years World Cup, was so nondescript it wasnt even shown on television in Europe.

Fast forward to 2017, however, and this encounter has morphed into a huge global event which has gripped a soccer-mad city and ensured the now annual International Champions Cup exhibition tournament will remain a permanent fixture on the sporting calendar for years to come.

TV network ESPN have transplanted a crew of 25 reporters and presenters to South Florida to help produce wall-to-wall coverage.

Their daily Sports Center news show will be on-site in Miami and, at a time of the year where the NFL, NBA and NHL are in hibernation, the timing couldnt have been better.

The game has long since sold out -- tickets on the black market are now costing upwards of $900 (770 euros) each -- although only 30% were bought by fans in the South Florida region, with the remainder being snapped up by the rest of the United States as well as people in 50 countries.

Football supporters from Mexico, Canada, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica and Honduras will all descend on the recently renovated home of the NFLs Miami Dolphins while the city itself is basking in the glow of a fun filled festival of soccer.

A legends game at the Casa Clasico event at Bayfront Park in downtown Miami on Friday sees legends such as Patrick Kluivert, Fernando Hierro and Carlos Puyol among others all dust down their boots once again and recreate the magic moments of yesteryear.

Live music and DJs will keep fans entertained and on Saturday watch parties on huge TV screens are planned for those unlucky enough to miss out on a ticket as well as allowing the casual fan to get a unique taste of what this match actually means.

Travel companies have also been offering special El Clasico packages with prices, including stadium tickets and hotel stays in luxurious South Beach properties, starting from $750 per night.

Naturally, both sides are in the middle of pre-season preparations and have been travelling across the United States for the past two weeks along with the likes of Manchester United, Manchester City, Juventus and Tottenham Hotspur.

Yet such a mouthwatering rivalry ensures that whenever Real and Barca meet, interest abounds. The build up has, invariably, been centered around incredibly priced incomings -- and possible departures -- both at the Camp Nou and the Bernabeu.

Neymar adds intrigue

Neymar, Barcas Brazilian superstar, has been consistently linked with a record breaking move to French giants Paris St Germain, who have also been in America, while Real are believed to be closing in on Monacos young star Kylian Mbappe for a fee which could eclipse 180 million euros.

Furthermore, while Madrid coach Zinedine Zidane is still basking in the glory of winning the La Liga and Champions League double, new Barcelona manager Ernesto Valverdes reign has yet to begin in earnest.

Having to contend with the Neymar situation and everything surrounding it wasnt what the former Barcelona forward would have hoped for so early into his tenure.

Meaningless? Perhaps. Yet Hugo Sanchez, the legendary Mexican striker who scored an astonishing 208 goals in 283 games for Los Blancos during a glorious spell which stretched from 1985 to 1992, knows exactly what it means when these two giants of the game collide.

Its the most important game in Spain but given the technological advances we have in the world, it should be known as El global Clasico, said Sanchez. For those lucky enough to be at the match, they will have an opportunity of a lifetime.

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CF Patients in Italy to Gain Access to Orkambi Under National … – Cystic Fibrosis News Today

Posted: at 7:21 pm

The Italian health insurance systemhas agreed to cover cystic fibrosispatients use ofVertex PharmaceuticalsOrkambi (lumacaftor/ivacaftor).

Those eligible for the Italian Medicines Agency coverage are patients 12 and older who have two copies of a particular mutation of the gene that is defective in the disease. That is the F508del mutation of the CF transmembrane conductance regulator, or CFTR, gene.

The Agencia Italiana del FarmacosOrkambi initiative is aimed both atlowering the drugs price and helping more patients obtain access to it. Italys efforts are part of a bigger European initiative. The British and French health insurance systems are continuing to negotiate Orkambi supply and price deals with Vertex.

F508del is a deletion mutation of the CFTR gene, which means that part of the normal gene is missing. The mutation generatesdefective CFTR protein, which leads to inflammation and mucus buildup in the lungs, digestive track, and elsewhere. These problems can cause severe respiratory and digestive dysfunction, as well as other complications like infections.

Two copies of the F508del mutation can result in little-to-no CFTR protein at the cell surface where it is needed.

Orkambi is a combination therapy composed of lumacaftor and ivacaftor. Lumacaftor is designed to increase the amount of mature protein at the cell surface, and ivacaftor to enhance the activity of the CFTR protein once it reachesthe surface.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved Orkambifor the treatment of CF in July 2015.

It based its approval on results of two clinical trials, TRAFFIC (NCT01807923) and TRANSPORT (NCT01807949). Those studies showed that the drug,taken as two pills every 12 hours, improved lung function in CF patients, when compared with a placebo. It also reduced pulmonary exacerbation rates.

We are pleased to have reached this agreement on behalf of CF patients inItalywho have been waiting for this important medicine, Simon Bedson, senior vice president of Vertex, said in a press release. We continue negotiations with other countries, includingFranceand theUnited Kingdom, and we encourage these national health authorities and governments to work quickly with us to achieve reimbursement for all patients who may benefit.

Italys countrywide sign-off means that regional health coverage authorities there will begin making Orkambi available to patients who are eligible for it.

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Ode: Divorced and dating again, childfree by choice | KWIT – KWIT

Posted: at 7:20 pm

"You must have babies so the Muslims dont take over!

Ally Karsyn tells her story live at Ode. The theme was "Stigmas: An ode to the power of opening up."

In the long-term parking lot, I meet a middle-aged woman wearing sunglasses, sneakers and yoga pants. Her hair is casually swept into a ponytail. Shes flying to Phoenix for business. Im off to Seattle for fun. She cant remember the last time shes gone on vacation. I go somewhere every year.

Something about our conversation makes her ask, Do you have any little ones at home?

No, thats why I can travel like this, I say. Just pick up and go anywhere.

Do it now, she says, because when you have kids

Her voice trails off. I smile politely. She said, When.

I didnt tell her that there wouldnt be a when for me. Im childfree by choice. I didnt tell her that Im divorced, after four years, and dating again.

Before my divorce was final, my well-meaning mother started saying things like, Oh, Id really like to see you find a nice guy. To which I replied, Ive got nothing but time. I don't have any biological clocks ticking! But then she said, If having kids has taught me anything, its never say never.

I'm probably not the daughter she expected.

In the small farm town where I grew up, it was acceptable, if not encouraged, to get married at 22 to the son of a farmer with a Dutch surname. (That was better than living in sin.) And it was acceptable to buy that house in the suburbs. Doing these things bestowed comfort and approval in the form of verbal praise, plus gifts.

But panic set in with each measuring cup and Tupperware container I received. What sent me over the edge was the shiny red, 22-pound KitchenAid Artisan Stand Mixer. It dictated I would be spending my weekends baking brownies like my mom did, not biking through rice paddies in Bali, shopping the souks in Marrakesh or eating tapas in Seville.

Being showered with kitchenwares brought back childhood memories of being told to dry the dishes while my older brother played computer games, less than 10 feet away. Id protest, Why cant he help you? Its just cause hes a boy!

I not only rejected the gendered household division of labor, I didnt have much interest in playing with dolls or Barbies. Instead, I took cat photos with my little yellow Kodak camera. I cut and pasted pictures out of magazines and wrote my own stories. I went on outdoor adventures with my three imaginary friends.

These quirks were cute when I was a little girl. Then I grew up.

In my late teens, when I first declared I was never having kids, a family member told me, You must have babies so the Muslims dont take over! Now in my late-20s, the most popular response has been: Youll change your mind.

This sweeping declaration doesnt take into account my underactive thyroid that occasionally hits me with debilitating fatigue or my susceptibility to anxiety and depression when diet, sleep and exercise are compromised. (But hey, kids wont affect that.) It doesnt account for the sense of purpose derived from my precarious journalism career or the desire to travel in order to better understand the world and my place in it.

When I was younger and far more insecure, my college boyfriend convinced me that few men would want to be with an ambitious, free-spirited woman like me. In rural Iowa, I was too different. He promised the kind of life I wanted. Every three to five years, wed move for my job. That was the agreement. That and no kids. I thought, This must be as good as it gets.

I married him.

But after a couple years, my stepping stone became his anchor. He had settled into a comfortable, well-paying technical career. And I was checking JournalismJobs.com every day. My incessant searching finally made him crack. I dont want to live like a nomad, he said. That and his affinity for alcohol made me leave. I took the 22-pound mixer with me.

Then, a strange thing happened. For the first time, I had people telling me, Good thing you dont have kids!

I could look at my starter marriage as a failure or a mistake. But I dont.

By getting divorced and essentially doing the thing I was not supposed to do, I freed myself from crushing expectations. I learned that the only real mistake would be believing Im unworthy of love. Or joy. Even it looks a little different.

Now, I get to try again.

I downloaded Bumble, Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel. I hadnt been on a first date in more than seven years. Back then, these kinds of dating apps didnt exist. Now I stood in line at the grocery store and swiped through med students, airmen, farmers, truck drivers, pro-athletes and engineers. Never in my life have I seen more photos of men holding up dead pheasants, fish and deer. And then there were the ones with kids usually their nieces and nephews. Even that says, Im looking for the mother of my children. And thats not me.

I finally found a match on Tinder, but after 15 messages back and forth about weather and work, he brought up handcuffs and spanking. No thanks.

I had better luck on Coffee Meets Bagel and matched with Marcos the 31-year-old music-loving chef. Latino. Five-foot-10. Religion: Other.

When I asked Marcos what made him want to be a chef, he said, Usually, men arent in the kitchen if youre raised in a Mexican family, but since it was me and my two brothers, my mom taught us how to cook.

His enlightened response won me over. Our first date lasted six-hours, filled with coffee, crepes and great conversation. It ended with a goodnight kiss in the misting rain. We kept seeing each other, and after a couple months, I decided to tell my mom about the nice guy Id found, which begged the question, Whats his name?

Marcos.

Does he have a last name?

Vela.

Is heeeee

Mexican.

Oh, she said, I thought maybe he was Italian.

But she pronounces it, Eye-talian.

When Marcos had his big, black beard, he could have passed as Pakistani or Indian. (In fact, people have come up to him speaking Hindi.) But hes most definitely from Mexicoone of the Dreamers, tossed over a border fence by his teenage mother when he was 2 years old.

They left Acapulco. The coastal city in southern Mexico is part of a region densely populated with descendants of African slaves. Or people who, today, identify as Blaxicansblack Mexicans. A heritage he is proud of yet removed from.

A few weeks ago, we were walking through a flea market. In between the nostalgia-inducing model airplanes and My Little Ponies, he pointed to an illustrated reprinting of The Man Without a Country and said, Thats me.

Instantly, I knew that feeling of being out of place when you want to belong. But cant.

When I told my mother more about the talkative, well-groomed, fashion-savvy man Id foundthe one who can pick out my clothes and cook for meshe said, Just make sure he's not too different. Which I took to mean, Make sure he's not gay.

From our first date, I knew Marcos was different.

Over brunch, he answered a call from his mom. He was boyishly embarrassed at first but still told her, I love you, before he hung up. He apologized for the interruption and went on to tell me about his job at an upscale, modern American restauranthow he works from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. five days a week and teaches free music lessons in the Latino community on one of his days off. He shared his dream of opening his own restaurant, one in Australia, then Germany. He admired my confidence and wit, my independence and ambition.

Going against the advice on the Internet, I told Marcos that Im divorced and I dont want kids.

He stared at me with his deep brown eyes, reminiscent of two perfect little cups of coffee that I could drink in all day. His face softened into a smile and he said, Me, too.

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Ally Karsyn is the arts producer and weekday afternoon announcer at Siouxland Public Media. She is also the founder, producer and host of Ode.

Odeis a storytelling series where community members tell true stories on stage to promote positive impact through empathy. Its produced by Siouxland Public Media.

The next event is 7 p.m. Friday, August 4 atBe Yoga Studioin downtown Sioux City. The theme is Little Did I Know. Tickets are available atkwit.org. For more information, visitfacebook.com/odestorytelling.

This story was produced as part of anImages & Voices of HopeRestorative Narrative Fellowship, which supports media practitioners who want to tell stories of resilience in communities around the U.S. and abroad.ivohis a nonprofit committed to strengthening the media's role as an agent of change and world benefit.

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Ode: Divorced and dating again, childfree by choice | KWIT - KWIT

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