Monthly Archives: July 2017

Sex Heroes is an ongoing HuffPost Q&A series byVoices Editorial Director Noah Michelsonthat explores the lives and experiences of individuals who are challenging, and thereby changing, mainstream cultures understanding of sex and sexuality.

Andrew Gurza has dedicated his life to sharing his unique experiences as a queer cripple.

The 33-year-old disability awareness consultant, who has cerebral palsy, is the creator of DisabilityAfterDark, a brand that includes podcasts, blogs and presentations about sex, sexuality and disability. According to his website, DisabilityAfterDark offers a unique glimpse into sex and disability that shines a light on the intersectionality of sex and disability, the fun found in sex and disability, and the vulnerability of sex and disability that we very rarely talk about.

Gurzas unflinching approach to these topics, which are often considered taboo (if theyre discussed at all),makes his work enormously compelling, thoroughly necessary and unlike anything anyone else is currently undertaking. The consultant, who is non-ambulatory and a wheelchair user,recently chatted with HuffPost about why he refers to himself as a queer cripple, the biggest challenges he faces when it comes to sex and what he wants everyone to know about having sex with someone with a disability.

Tell me why youve chosen the terms queer and cripple to describe yourself. Ive seen some people especially upset about your use of cripple. I have chosen the words queer and cripple as my chosen descriptors with very specific intent and purpose. First, I use queer in part because I never really felt like I fit into the gay community as it were. My body and experiences didnt fit that mold at all. I also didnt like how many stereotypical assumptions of MSM [male-seeking-male] sexuality was ascribed to the word gay. Queer encompasses, for me at least, that I dont need to adhere to any of those stereotypes that force so many gay men into these narrow homonormative boxes. Queer says, Fuck your boxes, I am doing this my way.

Cripple is a whole different monster entirely. Id be lying if I said that I didnt enjoy the shock value in that word, but it does go so much deeper than that. Cripple, when I use it, allows me to take ownership of everyones misconceptions of disability; it allows me to preemptively say, I know what you may think about disability. I know that youre scared of me; I know you think Im different from you, and guess what? I am. Im owning that as best as I can when I use that word. It is a term of personal empowerment for me. I wouldnt use it to describe another disabled person without their consent, but for me it helps me navigate the experience of disability with an honesty that I think is really important.

To the people who have been upset, I say this: Until you experience disability the way I do, you have no right to police my language.

The pieces you write and the discussions you have about your sex life are really unlike anything Ive read or heard before. What made you decide to be so open and honest about such personal matters? If I really think about it, I made the choice to be so open because I had never seen anything like that out there. Whenever we talk about sex and disability if we dare it is in this painfully sanitized way that tends to tell you nothing about the person with a disability, their sex or what they actually want it doesnt shed any light on how it really feels, and I wanted to take a stab at that. It has also been a cathartic experience for me, writing about this stuff. It allows me to get it out, to tell someone my true feelings.

Alejandro Santiago Photography

Is there anything you consider too personal to write about? When it comes to disability, queerness and intersectionality, I dont think so. This topic is still so shrouded in mystery which is actually just a fuckton of ableism that I think we need those raw, uncomfortable stories to shake things up. People always ask me, What is sex and disability like? That question is precisely why we need this intensely personal narrative.

What kind of responses have you gotten? I have gotten a breadth of responses from people ranging from praise and thanks to strongly worded letters and emails denouncing my work and what I write about. In either case, it means Ive hit a nerve. The fact that I got people talking about it and thinking about it even if they dislike what I am saying means that my goal of bringing a real-life discussion of sex, sexuality, queerness and disability to the forefront of our communitys conscience has worked. Im OK with that.

Why is sex such an important subject for you? Its important because with respect to disability and sex, especially as it intersects with queerness, the subject is all but nonexistent. That sucks. What if LGBTQ+ people had nothing to read that represented them? Thats how so many queer disabled people feel. They want to read about their experiences too, and I want to be one person to provide them that chance. It may also be important to me because I like sex. So, theres that.

What are some of the biggest challenges you face regarding sex? Some of my biggest challenges are: 1) Getting to have sex at all. Finding someone who wants to get naked with the Queer Cripple has been surprisingly difficult. I talk, write, podcast and present a lot on the subject of sex, disability and queerness, but I dont actually get to have that much. Any takers? 2) One of the other biggest challenges I have with sex is finding an emotional connection on the rare occasions that I do have sex. I want sex that means something, and I sometimes feel upset that in my quest to be your No. 1 Queer Cripple, Ill engage in sex that is devoid of feeling because I think to myself, No one else has been here in months, I had better take what I can get. 3) Its challenging to feel sexy, queer and disabled when you constantly have to prove to other people you are sexually viable and worth a good fuck.

You also write about the emotional and psychological side of sex and sexuality as a queer disabled man. My writing on the psychological side of sex, disability and queerness helps me to answer the question How does sex and disability feel? Tapping into the psychological stuff also helps to flesh out the worldview of disabled sex in a way that we dont ever see. I also think when non-disabled people read that stuff, it helps them see sex and disability as more than just two people in chairs getting it on. It shows them that these experiences mean something. And, writing this stuff undoubtedly helps me work through my own shit. Definitely.

Alejandro Santiago Photography

What are the biggest misconceptions about sex when it comes to being a queer person with a disability? The biggest misconceptions are: 1. I cant have it wrong. 2. I dont want it Ha! I would say I have a higher sex drive than most. 3. Specifically in terms of queerness, a lot of LGBTQ+ men assume I must be passive, or a boring lay. They have a lot to learn. There are so many more, but those are some highlights.

What do you want someone who doesnt have a disability to know about having sex with a person who does have a disability? I want them to know that it is OK to not have all the answers. Its OK to have questions, and its OK to ask. Its all about how you ask, though. If you wanna get to know me and/or get naked, please dont start with: So, does your dick work? Ugh. Also, dont ask me, How did you end up in a chair? as that assumes that I was once able, and therefore closer to your definition of normal. But, you can ask: Hi. I see you have a disability or You disclosed [you have a disability] for individuals with invisible disabilities I think youre really cute, and I had some questions about your disability. May I ask them as I undress you at your place? That response is totally acceptable. In all seriousness, I want non-disabled people to know that my disability informs a lot of who I am, so please acknowledge it before we have sex. Ive had guys tell me before we met up that my disability was not an issue only to discover that it really was too much for them. That blows and not in the good way.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Is there a sex hero you think deserves to be covered on HuffPost?Send an email to Noah Michelson.

Continue reading here:

Here's What This 'Queer Cripple' Wants You To Know About His Sex Life - HuffPost

Friday July 21 2017

Alibaba Group Holding founder and executive chairman Jack Ma talks to young entrepreneurs and students on the University of Nairobi's main campus on July 20, 2017. PHOTO | THOMAS MUKOYA | REUTERS

Throughout his many public lectures that are available online, Jack Ma has emphasised a philosophy of personal change and humility, empowerment of women in public lives, and investing more in youth.

These are also things that we in Kenya have sung about for long, but which remain largely as mere talking points. This is commonly known.

Jack Ma, the Executive Chairman of Alibaba, an e-commerce empire, came to Kenya when all else had stopped because of elections.

One only hopes that his coming will compel us to re-examine our ways as we pursue individual and national development.

To many, he embodies the idea of success.

Throughout his many public lectures that are available online, Jack Ma has emphasised a philosophy of personal change and humility, empowerment of women in public lives, and investing more in youth.

These are also things that we in Kenya have sung about for long, but which remain largely as mere talking points. This is commonly known.

What may be unknown to many, perhaps, is that a hint about how Ma himself came to embrace these values is in the name of his flagship business empire Ali Baba.

The name of Jack Mas empire is also the title of one of the most popular short stories of all time, Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, widely circulated in The Arabian Nights.

Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves is an allegory of (mis)fortune, showing the possibility of an individual rising from grinding poverty to immeasurable fortune, if they are lucky to be at the right place at the right time.

The fact that the story begins with the poor Ali Baba with his rich brother Cassim shows that material wealth and poverty are flipsides of each other.

The story also shows that our pursuit for material prosperity need not be at the expense of our humanity; that indeed we should be more humane as we scale the ladder of prosperity.

In the story, this lesson is seen in way women, represented by Morgiana, subvert the gender stereotypes as they collaboratively work with men to achieve higher ideals.

Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, which Jack Mas company nods at, in this way emphasises lessons of social justice, unity, patience, and wisdom.

The story not only influenced Jack Ma the entrepreneur, but also Nuruddin Farah the Somali novelist.

Farah novel, Close Sesame, borrows the title from the phrase open sesame, and the theme from struggles of Ali Baba against the ruthless forty thieves.

In Farahs novel, the old protagonist, quite like Ali Baba, has to struggle against a shadowy and cold enemy in a moral climate where public and private justice have hazy dividing lines.

Hence, the troubling question at the end of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves relates to the way the thieves are condemned while Ali Baba is admired for doing the very same thing.

Maybe a key redemption is that in the story, there are no heroes or villains among the key characters, unless we look at Morgiana, the former slave girl, as the hero.

The Writer teaches at the University of Nairobi.

Chinese entrepreneur urges young people to take advantage of technology and data.

Electoral commission provides parties with list of returning officers.

Joel Kiprono argues constitution says country should go to the polls every fifth year.

Originally posted here:

Jack Ma and the Wisdom of Ali Baba - Daily Nation

Plush Unlimited Creative Studio & Co. has proudly served the Carbondale community since 2012 by offering a multitude of services, ranging from beauty makeovers to event planning services. Locally owned and operated by Tiffany Walker, who is an award-winning acrylic painter, as well as an award-winning author and makeup artist, Plush Unlimited started as a mobile service. The business would come out to clients for private parties and special events.

As the business has grown, it has readily evolved and steadily developed into an eclectic company that provides a diverse array of services for children and adults.

For more information, you can contact us at (618) 457-8565. You also can like us on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/PlushUNLTD/ or check us out on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/plushunltd/. You can even email us at: plushunltd@gmail.com.

To truly understand the multi-faceted dynamics of Plush Unlimited Creative Studio & Co., you first must understand its tremendously talented owner.

In addition to winning a national award from the United Negro College Fund in 2005 for acrylic painting, Tiffany Walker also won a prestigious poetry award from the National Book Foundation in 2005. In a national competition, Walker finished first for her slam poetry. This is a form of competitive, spoken-word poetry.

Walker also has published three books, including an anthology, a memoir and a book of poems. Her latest book is titled, Sprinting Towards Nowhere Fast.

In addition to being a former member of the Stage Company, which is a performing arts group in Carbondale, Walker is also one of the artists featured in the Locality exhibit at the Carbondale Community Arts. This is an exhibit that will run from July 5 to September 1 at Artspace 304.

With 15 years of skin care and makeup experience, Walker opened Plush Unlimited at its current location 205 South Marion Street in Carbondale in June 2017.

Were building a community centered around art culture, Walker said. We welcome all people. You dont have to be a professional to come into Plush Unlimited, but were also a place where a professional can come and network. To accomplish this goal, Plush Unlimited hosts its own events. The business is open Monday through Friday, from 11 a.m. until 6 p.m. However, appointments and bookings are available 24 hours per day, seven days a week. For special events, there is unlimited time available.

To brighten and lighten the Carbondale community, Walker does face painting at kids fairs, local festivals and childrens runs.

Were about building bridges within the community and connecting people, Walker said. We want to be the art hub for the local community and provide luxury services for everyday people.

Walker, a former plus-size pageant queen, takes pride in making luxury services accessible and available for all people. This is why she works on different fashion shows and works with clients in several separate communities.

The business name, Plush Unlimited, represents unlimited empowerment. Therefore, Walker doesnt just offer her services in nearby cities, such as Carbondale, Marion, Murphysboro, Herrin, Carterville and Du Quoin. She also takes her business and her message of empowerment to towns like St. Louis, Atlanta and Las Vegas.

At her location on 205 South Marion Street, Walker offers a friendly environment and comfortable atmosphere that caters to children and adults. Adults and professionals can rent event space for birthday parties, graduations, family gatherings, book signings and bridal events. In addition to having a beauty and makeup bar, there is decorating, face painting for kids and temporary tattoos for adults.

Always focusing on her customers best interests, Plush Unlimited is totally driven by the needs of its clients. Professional and quality makeup brands that are organic are available. All the products utilized are cruelty-free and hypoallergenic.

The open art studio at her inviting site has six stations available, while the makeup and beauty bar has space that enables as many as three people at a time to be taken care of and get personalized attention.

Plush Unlimited accepts all forms of payment, including all major credit cards, cash, personal checks and PayPal.

To provide patrons with the best customer service, Plush Unlimited offers a customer loyalty program with rewards, complimentary promotions and birthday gifts and individual consultations. Custom gift baskets are an option and unique gifts are available. Gift cards are even available in the studio!

Call us today at (618) 457-8565!

More:

Plush Unlimited Creative Studio & Co. - The Southern

It's 10:52 p.m. and Chris Bianco is still working. He's sending emails when most of the country has finished their shifts and are already deep in REM sleep.Bianco has no doubt already spent all day at one of his several restaurants, or maybe even all of them, and an hour short of midnight, he's still at it.Which makes it either all the more remarkable or all the more typical that he's tackled the major project of a cookbook.

"We are the measures of balance," he writes. "Crispy, chewy, thin, thick, spicy how we like things is personal to understanding nuances, and how to get to those places and profiles is the roadmap of a journey." That's the vision for his new book, Bianco: Pizza, Pasta, and Other Foods I Like(Ecco, 2017), which will be released on Tuesday, July 25.

If that sounds like the musings of a man who rarely stops thinking, whose inner narratives are never paused by a comma or period, then you heard right. And his cookbook? It's not really a cookbook. It's more like spending the day with the James Beard-winning, Oprah-hailed, Jimmy Kimmel's fellow fly-fisherman chef who has stopped what he is doing to teach you how to cook something astounding in 15 minutes.

There are recipes for pizza, for meatballs, for focaccia, for Sunday gravy, beets roasted with fig leaves, custard, and lemon cookies. There's also Chris in every recipe; a story, an inspiration, a family tale. The book is more than a book; it's a Chris Bianco omnibus, taking a willing participant through the Candy Land of his restaurants, creations, and motivations.

"I tried my hardest with a limited skill set to one day leave this physical place better than I found it ... maybe just an inch," he says.

The narrative chronicles his career, which started in a small kitchen behind a grocery store in central Phoenix. He then dives into his relationship with sourcing, using the best ingredients possible, and his philosophy that food is a collective experience to be shared, modified, and fit to each individual who tackles a recipe.

"The book is about empowerment of our personal worth as it relates metaphorically through food," he explains. "And it already existed before you turned a page."

The magic potion for his pizza dough has been traversing the internet for about a decade, but those who have tried it knowthat while it's a great recipe, it really can't be replicated unless you have Bianco's oven, his flour, and whatever other magic it takes to make the pizza served at his restaurants. But, combined with entries like gnocchi, lasagna, and risotto, isn't he worried about giving away the store?

"I've always given up recipes or sources, letting transparency, and intention tell the story," he says. "Recipes to me are only notes, to make music is for us to find a genre that fits our person, and to play it with purpose and a whole heart."

And there's no favorite recipe. "I would like to, and do think, that they are all significant in their own way," he says. "Like your kids."

Speaking of kids, paging through Bianco's book, with its very personal narrative and staple recipes from Bianco's close-knit family,it easy to wonder if perhapshe had his children in mind as he compiled the chapters. It reads like a tribute or a legacy, for them and for us.

Bianco writes in his book that it was 30 years ago, when he was just a kid from the Bronx, that he won two free plane tickets to anywhere in the United States. For reasons that are still a mystery to him, Bianco chose Phoenix. Mesmerized by the sky during that first encounter, he returned. He made Phoenix his home and put the city on the culinary map with pizza that was dubbed by many to be the best in the country.

Which begs the question: Whose hometown boy is he? Does he belong to Phoenix, or to the Bronx?

"Finders keepers," he replies. "It's funny about where we are from. You think you know, then you spit in an ancestry.com cup and the dots start to connect. But there is always where you land and end up that has its influence and that gives you your accent. My wife, Mia, goes back three generations here; my kids were born here. Phoenix feels like home to me more than any place I've ever been."

So that settles it. He's ours.

Even at 6:45 a.m., the time stamp on the final email in our conversation.

Bianco: Pizza, Pasta and Other Food I Like,will be published on July 25. Chris Bianco will be reading at Changing Hands, 300 West Camelback Road, at 7 p.m. on Monday, July 31. Tickets are $34.99 and include one copy of the book and admission for two people.

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Chris Bianco Talks About His New Book, Culinary Empowerment, and Phoenix - Phoenix New Times