WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report )Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is being dispatched to Pyongyang in what the White House is calling a high-stakes mission to reverse North Koreas years of progress in math and science. <\/p>\n
DeVos, who is expected to arrive in Pyongyang later this week, plans to throw a monkey wrench in North Koreas swiftly advancing nuclear program by replacing its current system of training scientists with a dizzying array of vouchers, sources said. <\/p>\n
According to the White House, it is hoped that, after a few weeks in North Korea, DeVos will succeed in returning that nations nuclear program to pre-1970 levels. <\/p>\n
At a press briefing announcing the mission, the White House deputy press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, called DeVos our nations best bet to stop North Korea. <\/p>\n
If anyone can get North Koreas missiles to start blowing up on the launchpad again, its Betsy, Sanders said. <\/p>\n
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Betsy DeVos Heads to North Korea to Reverse Its Progress in Math and Science - The New Yorker (satire)<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report )Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is being dispatched to Pyongyang in what the White House is calling a high-stakes mission to reverse North Koreas years of progress in math and science. DeVos, who is expected to arrive in Pyongyang later this week, plans to throw a monkey wrench in North Koreas swiftly advancing nuclear program by replacing its current system of training scientists with a dizzying array of vouchers, sources said. According to the White House, it is hoped that, after a few weeks in North Korea, DeVos will succeed in returning that nations nuclear program to pre-1970 levels Continue reading