{"id":179363,"date":"2017-02-23T13:19:19","date_gmt":"2017-02-23T18:19:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/30-million-year-old-species-worried-it-doesnt-have-another-evolution-in-it-the-onion-satire\/"},"modified":"2017-02-23T13:19:19","modified_gmt":"2017-02-23T18:19:19","slug":"30-million-year-old-species-worried-it-doesnt-have-another-evolution-in-it-the-onion-satire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/evolution\/30-million-year-old-species-worried-it-doesnt-have-another-evolution-in-it-the-onion-satire\/","title":{"rendered":"30-Million-Year-Old Species Worried It Doesn&#8217;t Have Another Evolution In It &#8211; The Onion (satire)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><p>    WASATCH RANGE, UTHaving spent thousands of millennia adapting    to changes in habitat and climate, the American pika told    reporters Wednesday that the 30-million-year-old species is    worried it doesnt have another evolution in it. Honestly, I    think the cycle where we developed longer, denser fur to live    in cold, mountainous regions may have been the last hurrah,    said the small herbivorous mammal, adding that differentiating    itself from rabbits during the Oligocene epoch took an awful    lot out of it. Lets face it, Im not 15 million years old    anymore. Maybe I should just be proud of our distinctive    high-pitched alarm call and accept that this is as far as    natural selection is going to take us. At a certain point, you    have to come to terms with the fact that you might be as    evolved as youre going to get. The pika went on to say that    while it might be evolutionarily advantageous to develop more    nocturnal traits to help the species stay cooler during warmer    seasons, it was getting exhausted just thinking about it.  <\/p>\n<p><!-- Auto Generated --><\/p>\n<p>View post:<\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/article\/30-million-year-old-species-worried-it-doesnt-have-55342\" title=\"30-Million-Year-Old Species Worried It Doesn't Have Another Evolution In It - The Onion (satire)\">30-Million-Year-Old Species Worried It Doesn't Have Another Evolution In It - The Onion (satire)<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p> WASATCH RANGE, UTHaving spent thousands of millennia adapting to changes in habitat and climate, the American pika told reporters Wednesday that the 30-million-year-old species is worried it doesnt have another evolution in it. Honestly, I think the cycle where we developed longer, denser fur to live in cold, mountainous regions may have been the last hurrah, said the small herbivorous mammal, adding that differentiating itself from rabbits during the Oligocene epoch took an awful lot out of it. Lets face it, Im not 15 million years old anymore.  <a href=\"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/evolution\/30-million-year-old-species-worried-it-doesnt-have-another-evolution-in-it-the-onion-satire\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[187748],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-179363","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-evolution"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/179363"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=179363"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/179363\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=179363"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=179363"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/prometheism-transhumanism-posthumanism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=179363"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}