We all, at times, come across a certain version of an angel.<\/p>\n
Those who carry great burdens with grace.<\/p>\n
And in so doing, remind us that such is one of lifes secrets.<\/p>\n
To me, Marita Loffredo, gone too soon a few weeks ago, will always be among them.<\/p>\n
We met four years ago, at an outdoor table at the Starbucks in Providence's Wayland Square. I could not help but notice her hands. They were twisted like those of the elderly after arthritis.<\/p>\n
Except Marita was only 52.<\/p>\n
But that smile.<\/p>\n
The hands were not her only burden.<\/p>\n
She wore nasal tubes for oxygen, then laughed and said the attached tank was like American Express.<\/p>\n
I never leave home without it.<\/p>\n
More: Mark Patinkin: With borders closed, a father wistfully sees his son graduate from afar<\/p>\n
I still remember the weather, and how it mirrored Marita, warm with clouds, but the sun peering through.<\/p>\n
Marita had written me with the simplest of requests.<\/p>\n
Shed had autoimmune disease much of her life. It had caused fibrosis, which left her lungs stiffened. A double-lung transplant might have helped a little but wouldnt be a cure.<\/p>\n
So Marita had chosen to live with what she had and accept that her heart had only so many beats left.<\/p>\n
Then came the unexpected request.<\/p>\n
The disease had left her handscold, even in summer. But because they were twisted,it was hard to fit them into mittens.<\/p>\n
So shed invented some for others like her, with Velcro that opens all the way to the knuckles.<\/p>\n
Would that be worth a mention in my column?<\/p>\n
She wasnt asking for help with her medical challenges, just the reward of knowing shed made a small difference for other sufferers.<\/p>\n
You would make this dying creative lady really happy, she wrote.<\/p>\n
More: Mark Patinkin: Two years since a dream team found and removed his cancer<\/p>\n
I published sucha mention, andwill again now you can buy themat the Facebook shopping page called Phalang-EASE Mittens.<\/p>\n
The other day, four years later, there came a message on my phone from Anne Paolilli, older sister to Marita.<\/p>\n
I wanted you to know, she said, Marita fought like hell for five years after she was told to go home and get her things in order.\"<\/p>\n
Through the grace of God, medicine and her own spirit, said Anne, she prevailed.<\/p>\n
But finally, on the 19th of February, her time came.<\/p>\n
I called Anne back, and as we spoke, she had to pause many times because of emotion.<\/p>\n
She told me Marita grew up working-class in Elmhurst, the youngest of three daughters, born to a truck-driver dad and a mom who worked for the states library for the blind.<\/p>\n
Her symptoms began in high school, not just the rheumatoid arthritis, but a blood vessel disease that gradually weighed on her heart.<\/p>\n
Anne, full time back then with the National Guard, would pause before dressing in her uniform to help Marita out of bed.<\/p>\n
Thats how bad it was at age 17.<\/p>\n
And yet Marita endured until she was just days shy of 56.<\/p>\n
Anne, who went from the military to work for the Providence police, says this of her often frail little sister:<\/p>\n
She was the toughest person I ever knew.<\/p>\n
I only spent an hour with Marita, but I saw the same, how her spirit overcame her infirmity.<\/p>\n
As well as other challenges.<\/p>\n
Like a divorce.<\/p>\n
And having to struggle at times to keep working.<\/p>\n
But she did, forging a career at Rhode Island Hospitals genetics department, later at Trader Joes in Warwick, and, when her illness allowed that no longer, her mittenbusiness.<\/p>\n
More: Mark Patinkin: At 104, Providence native is West Point's oldest graduate<\/p>\n
Maritas two sons were her proudest legacy.<\/p>\n
Peter is now with the U.S. Coast Guard stationed inBahrain, and Michael is an HVAC guy.<\/p>\n
In an online remembrance, here is what Peter said of his mom:<\/p>\n
You taught me to be grateful when things werent great, and humble when they were.<\/p>\n
As Marita and I sat at Starbucks in 2017, I said it seemed hard for her to do certain movements like bending over.<\/p>\n
She laughed. Oh, everythings stiff, but I make it work.<\/p>\n
If it was me, I said, Id be grumpy.<\/p>\n
That doesnt get you anyplace, said Marita. People dont like grumpy.<\/p>\n
The author Jordan Peterson argues that life should not be about striving for happiness, because the human condition involves constant challenge, and often hardship.<\/p>\n
The true measure is whether we navigate that with character.<\/p>\n
And, as I learned from Marita Loffredo, with grace.<\/p>\n
It is certainly how she lived, and will live on.<\/p>\n
mpatinki@providencejournal.com<\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n See the original post here: <\/p>\n Patinkin: A goodbye to Marita, who shined by soldiering through illness - The Providence Journal<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We all, at times, come across a certain version of an angel. Those who carry great burdens with grace. And in so doing, remind us that such is one of lifes secrets. Continue reading