You gotta hand it to the Americans. By god, they invented or at least morphed into profitability just about everything that's on my desk as I write this: my landline telephone; my iPad, which is open to my Facebook page; a DVD of the director's cut of \"Edward Scissorhands\"; even the plastic-lidded cup filled with a liquid that vaguely resembles coffee. <\/p>\n
But now they've taken the cake. The new invention it's incumbent upon me to tell you about is far and away the greatest creation of that fiendishly innovative nation that has ever crossed a county, state or national border. <\/p>\n
Armed with this smart weapon, Americans can not only \"get their country moving again\" which is something they do every four years until it stops in its tracks a couple of weeks later; they will also return to dominance around the world. Once everyone starts using this creation, the Russians will go back to playing roulette and the Chinese will have little choice but to while away their hours playing checkers. <\/p>\n
If you haven't guessed by now, this invention is called Hecklevision. If you haven't heard of it, you will, for it will be coming to a cinema near you before you can say \"Jackie Robinson.\" <\/p>\n
Hecklevision apparently first saw the light of day or, in this case, the light of screen in Austin, Texas, at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema. From there it spread like wildfire across to the Hollywood Cinema in Portland, Oregon. <\/p>\n
You see, Americans love to heckle. Had they been around in Jesus' time, I'm sure one of them would have shouted, \"Hey, dude, come down from your mount and stop sermonizing!\" And that would have spelled the end not only of the Vatican and its golden hoards, but also of the lucrative Swarovski crystal crucifix business, before either got off the ground. <\/p>\n
Now Americans have finally turned heckling into a commercial activity, just like they did with pizza, tacos, a drink marketed as coffee and imperialism all things originally invented in other countries. <\/p>\n
Hecklevision is simple. People in a cinema who have mobile phones create text messages and send them to the screen in real time. <\/p>\n
For instance, if Dorothy in \"The Wizard of Oz\" says to her dog Toto, \"I've a feeling we're not in Kansas,\" you can shoot off a rib-tickler to the screen like: \"That's what Sarah Palin said when she arrived in Moscow.\" <\/p>\n
But the potential of this new technology goes far beyond anything the American mind has ever stumbled on before. This being the case, I am calling on the Gateses, the Jobses and the Zuckerbergs among my readers to throw in some of their hard-earned cash to take this heckling technology from the big screen and into the world of television news. <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Read the original: <\/p>\n
Hush ye not! Here's a heckle of an idea to get rich \u2014 and save the world<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You gotta hand it to the Americans. Continue reading