{"id":2967,"date":"2009-12-22T08:00:26","date_gmt":"2009-12-22T08:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/medical-fun-with-christmas-carols\/"},"modified":"2009-12-22T08:00:26","modified_gmt":"2009-12-22T08:00:26","slug":"medical-fun-with-christmas-carols","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/medicine\/medical-fun-with-christmas-carols.php","title":{"rendered":"Medical Fun with Christmas Carols"},"content":{"rendered":"

Warning<\/strong>: If you are offended by humor that depends on psychiatric and medical diagnoses, read no further.<\/p>

Disclaimer:<\/strong> Before anyone complains (and in this age of exaggerated political correctness, someone surely will), let me make it clear that I mean no disrespect to people suffering from the illnesses mentioned below. I have the greatest empathy for sick people, and I have encountered several of these conditions in my own family and have actually experienced four of them myself. Humor about them doesn’t offend me, and I hope it will not offend you. Also, my mention of Christmas and Hanukkah songs is not intended to endorse any religious belief.<\/p>

=================<\/p>

After a year of serious talk about mostly discouraging things, I thought it was time for a totally frivolous post to cheer us up with a little holiday humor. A friend sent me a list of “Christmas Carols for the Psych Ward.” I thought they were funny, and I’ve copied the best of them below. I’ve added a few of my own for other medical diagnoses, and then I added several about complementary and alternative medicine. <\/p>

Christmas Carols for the Psych Ward<\/strong><\/p>

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?<\/p>

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are<\/p>

AMNESIA: I Don’t Know if I’ll be Home for Christmas<\/p>

NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me<\/p>

MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and….<\/p>

PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me<\/p>

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells…<\/p>

AUTISTIC: Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock …<\/p>

SENILE DEMENTIA: Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House In My Slippers and Robe<\/p>

 <\/p>

Christmas Carols for Other Medical Conditions<\/strong><\/p>

Argyria: Silver Balls<\/p>

Mumps: The Chipmunk Song<\/p>

Depression: Blue Christmas.<\/p>

Rosacea: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Rhinophyma patient<\/p>

Hypothyroidism: Baby It’s Cold Outside (and Inside too)<\/p>

Obesity: We want some figgy pudding. (from We Wish You a Merry Christmas)<\/p>

Scotomas (defects in visual field): O Holey Night<\/p>

Edentulous: All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth (along with the rest of them).<\/p>

Alcoholic: Here We Come A-Wassailing<\/p>

Deaf: Silent Night<\/p>

Tinnitus: Jingle Bells<\/p>

Narcolepsy: Shepherds! Shake Off Your Drowsy Sleep<\/p>

 <\/p>

Christmas Carols for Complementary and Alternative Medicine<\/strong><\/p>

Chiropractors: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (and we can fix the resulting subluxations).<\/p>

Acupuncture: The Twelve Acupoints of Christmas<\/p>

Homeopathy: Kissin’ By The Mistletoe [Viscum album, one drop of mistletoe extract diluted to 30C and deposited on a sugar pill. Shaken, not stirred.].<\/p>

Customer for penis enlargement products: I Have a Little Dreidel<\/p>

Probiotics: The Friendly Beasts<\/p>

Colon cleansing: Come, All Ye Feces-full<\/p>

Herbalists: “Greens\/Leaves”<\/p>

Faith healers: Rise Up (out of your wheelchairs) Shepherds and Follow<\/p>

TCM practitioners: From East to West<\/p>

CAM believers responding to SBM: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch<\/p>

=======<\/p>

Playing with song titles can be great fun. Think up some of your own and post them in the comments section. It makes a great holiday pastime or party game.<\/p>

Best Wishes for Whatever You Celebrate: Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Newton’s Birthday and Winter Solstice to All!<\/p>


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Warning: If you are offended by humor that depends on psychiatric and medical diagnoses, read no further.Disclaimer: Before anyone complains (and in this age of exaggerated political correctness, someone surely will), let me make it clear that I mean no … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"limit_modified_date":"","last_modified_date":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2967","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medicine"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2967"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2967"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2967\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2967"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2967"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2967"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}