Ive never been someone who likes to commit to anything too far in advance. <\/p>\n
In high school I had a boyfriend who always wanted to make plans for the following weekend during the weekend we happened to be enjoying at the moment. I didnt like feeling pinned down. What if something awesome came up that I just didnt know about yet? What if I didnt feel like it next week? What if I changed my mind? His attempts to schedule my time felt like attempts to control it. Needless to say, the relationship didnt last. <\/p>\n
In college, I chose my major by selecting the option that came with the smallest number of required credits, though I graduated with a higher total number of credits than required for my degree. I couldnt be fenced in to just one area of inquiry when there was so much of interest out there to explore! After college, the structure of working a 9-5 job drove me back to school to pursue the PhD I expected would give me the flexibility to work as, when, and how I wanted. Its mostly done that and I landed in a career that I love. <\/p>\n
My 20+ year marriage represents perhaps the longest commitment Ive ever made both freely and a great majority of the time, happily. <\/p>\n
When I got married, I assumed kids would soon follow. You know; love, marriage, baby carriage that whole thing. My husband and I married at early ages I was just 22, he was 23 so we had plenty of time. But my standard Im too young in response to the incessant WHEN ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO HAVE KIDS?! queries stopped sounding reasonable around the time I hit 35. <\/p>\n
For us, it turned out, the answer was never. <\/p>\n
The childfree path is not one that appeals to everyone. Trust me; I hear the cries of Selfish! Stupid! Decadent! loud and clear. But for a person who resists committing to a plan further than about a week in advance, doing time for 18+ years with a human I was sure Id love but wasnt sure Id like sounded like a prison sentence. <\/p>\n
I wanted the freedom and autonomy that I worried parenthood could stifle. I wanted every day to be Independence Day. And knowing that I wanted those things, the most selfish thing I could do, it seemed to me, would be to bring someone into the world who needed me perhaps more than anyone but to whom I wasnt certain I could commit. <\/p>\n
I do my job (even well, Id argue). I contribute to the well-being of my community by volunteering my time and donating to causes that matter to me. I feel concern for others and care deeply about social justice and equality. I maintain close friendships and a solid connection with my family. I nurture a marriage that matters to me. <\/p>\n
These are relationships, beliefs, and obligations to which Ive happily committed. If these things place me in the category of selfish, stupid, or decadent, then I embrace the label. As a childfree woman, every day is Independence Day. And I love it. <\/p>\n
Amy Blackstone is a sociologist who blogs at were {not} having a baby!. Find her on Twitter @soc_gal and @nothavingababy. <\/p>\n
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As A Childfree Woman, Every Day Is Independence Day - HuffPost<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ive never been someone who likes to commit to anything too far in advance. In high school I had a boyfriend who always wanted to make plans for the following weekend during the weekend we happened to be enjoying at the moment. I didnt like feeling pinned down. Continue reading