{"id":217302,"date":"2017-06-07T18:54:14","date_gmt":"2017-06-07T22:54:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/uncategorized\/nasa-receives-more-depressing-photos-of-mars-surface-from-morbid-curiosity-rover-the-onion-satire.php"},"modified":"2017-06-07T18:54:14","modified_gmt":"2017-06-07T22:54:14","slug":"nasa-receives-more-depressing-photos-of-mars-surface-from-morbid-curiosity-rover-the-onion-satire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/nasa\/nasa-receives-more-depressing-photos-of-mars-surface-from-morbid-curiosity-rover-the-onion-satire.php","title":{"rendered":"NASA Receives More Depressing Photos Of Mars&#8217; Surface From Morbid Curiosity Rover &#8211; The Onion (satire)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><p>    PASADENA, CAIn the latest troubling update from the multi-year    survey mission, scientists at NASAs Jet Propulsion Laboratory    received another set of depressing photos from the martian    surface taken by the Morbid Curiosity Rover, sources at the    agency confirmed Wednesday.  <\/p>\n<p>    The Morbid Curiosity Rover, an all-black, semi-autonomous robot    launched from Cape Canaveral in 2013, was intended to provide a    range of geological and environmental data about the red    planet. However, after years of pretentiously dreary and    self-pitying uplinks from the vehicle, scientists say they now    dread even having to look at each new message it transmits the    33.9 million miles back to Earth.  <\/p>\n<p>    The latest images from Morbid Curiosity are more of what weve    come to expect at this pointphotos of the night sky framed to    block out any stars, sullen self-portraits taken against a    backdrop of carbon dioxide ice, and lots and lots of dust,    said senior engineer Eshan Shah, adding that, despite having a    full-color onboard camera, every image the rover has sent back    so far has been in stark black and white. When we designed the    mission, we thought Morbid Curiosity might help uncover some of    the planets mysteries. Of course, that was before we began    receiving 6-terabyte data dumps of just the word bleak    repeated hundreds of billions of times.  <\/p>\n<p>    Frankly, its testing the patience of everyone on this    project, Shah added.  <\/p>\n<p>    A series of dreary images that NASA    recently received from the Morbid Curiosity Rover.  <\/p>\n<p>    NASA sources said they noticed early on that there seemed to be    something wrong with Morbid Curiosity when the rover showed    little interest in engaging in any of its programmed research    activities, preferring instead to maneuver aimlessly around the    surface with its primary camera fixed toward the ground.<\/p>\n<p>    The research team had initially hoped that the rover, which    reportedly wears studded leather cuffs on each of its axles,    was simply going through a phase. However, scientists said that    during its years on Mars, Morbid Curiosity has only sunk deeper    into a petulant, exasperating rut, sticking to its own lonely    corner of the northern hemisphere as far away from other rovers    as possible.  <\/p>\n<p>    Most days, it takes several hours of back-and-forth just to    coax it out of the crater its rolled into before we can get a    basic barometric reading, said engineer Miranda Pollack,    adding that the rover typically abandons its assigned tasks at    the first sign of adversity, often breaking off to trace    pictures of coffins in the martian soil with its excavator    tool. Weve tried motivating it to take more of an interest in    its surroundings, but it always comes back with some excuse    about how its out of energy, even though we can clearly see    its radioisotope power source is working just fine.  <\/p>\n<p>    I think in its entire three years on the planet its only    moved about 600 meters, Pollack added.  <\/p>\n<p>    On several occasions, Morbid Curiositys depressive behavior    has caused NASA to worry about its well-being and safety. In    one instance, the rover reportedly cut off all contact with    mission control and refused to respond to commands for weeks    despite telemetric data indicating that it was still receiving    researchers transmissions. When the rover finally    reestablished contact, it did so by sending back disturbing    photos of crosshatch scars it had made on its robotic arm using    its own laser cutting module.  <\/p>\n<p>    Although NASA staff theorize the incident was likely a plea for    attention, researchers say Morbid Curiositys repeated vague    threats to harm itself have made them even warier of working    with the rover.  <\/p>\n<p>    A couple months ago it sent us a massive file titled    despair, and honestly, Ive just been avoiding opening it,    said assistant director Alicia Herritz, adding that researchers    have also taken to ignoring Morbid Curiositys hourly    temperature readings, which regularly report the rover to be at    absolute zero, even though the surrounding martian atmosphere    is 220 degrees Celsius warmer. I actually felt kind of    relieved when it looked like it had suffered a terminal    malfunction last fall, but it turned out it had just gotten the    purple lace choker on its mast camera stuck on a rock outcrop.    I mean, is it really going to keep acting like this for the    rest of its 15-year operational lifespan?  <\/p>\n<p>    At press time, the Morbid Curiosity rover was reportedly    ignoring operators frantic pleas to back away from the    16,000-foot cliff of the Valles Marineris canyon.  <\/p>\n<p><!-- Auto Generated --><\/p>\n<p>Here is the original post: <\/p>\n<p><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/article\/nasa-receives-more-depressing-photos-mars-surface--56187\" title=\"NASA Receives More Depressing Photos Of Mars' Surface From Morbid Curiosity Rover - The Onion (satire)\">NASA Receives More Depressing Photos Of Mars' Surface From Morbid Curiosity Rover - The Onion (satire)<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p> PASADENA, CAIn the latest troubling update from the multi-year survey mission, scientists at NASAs Jet Propulsion Laboratory received another set of depressing photos from the martian surface taken by the Morbid Curiosity Rover, sources at the agency confirmed Wednesday. The Morbid Curiosity Rover, an all-black, semi-autonomous robot launched from Cape Canaveral in 2013, was intended to provide a range of geological and environmental data about the red planet. However, after years of pretentiously dreary and self-pitying uplinks from the vehicle, scientists say they now dread even having to look at each new message it transmits the 33.9 million miles back to Earth <a href=\"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/nasa\/nasa-receives-more-depressing-photos-of-mars-surface-from-morbid-curiosity-rover-the-onion-satire.php\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"limit_modified_date":"","last_modified_date":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-217302","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nasa"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217302"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=217302"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/217302\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=217302"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=217302"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.euvolution.com\/futurist-transhuman-news-blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=217302"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}