If I Could Do It All Over Again, I’d Probably Have A Few Possessions – The Onion (satire) (blog)

When I think back to my time on earth, I have few regrets. The path I took, the simple life of a monk, allowed me to achieve the highest state of enlightenment. As one who renounced worldly attachments, I was free to lead a contemplative existence and to then share my wisdom with others. That said, I have to admit that if I were to do it all over again, I would probably choose to have at least a few possessions.

Not too many, of course. Maybe 10 possessions20, tops.

To be sure, desiring earthly possessions only binds one to this life, and all beings must free themselves from the shackles of materialism to reach nirvana. Thats why, if I were to have a few belongings, Id limit them to just some essentials: a fan, perhaps, to cool myself with, or a candle, so I could continue my study of ancient texts when the sun goes down. Its not as if owning a candle wouldve halted my spiritual awakening. How could it? Its just a candle, right?

Ive always said that it is not objects themselves but our unwavering devotion to them that stands in the way of karmic progress and, ultimately, true awakening. With that in mind, I cant help but wonder if it really wouldve been such a big deal if Id had a pen or two to write withnot coveting pens or obsessing over them or anything like that, just having a reliable writing implement thats great for copying down spiritual insights. If I lost the pen, Id be absolutely fine with that, but theres nothing about being liberated from the stranglehold of temporal attachment that says I shouldnt be able to make a mark on a piece of paper.

And come to think of it, a canteen wouldve been a huge help. I probably wouldve attained perfect enlightenment soonera lot soonerif I hadnt had to stop meditating beneath the Bodhi tree and walk to the river Niranjana every single time I got thirsty.

I understand, perhaps better than anyone, how vital meditation is to finding the freedom that awaits us at the end of the eightfold path. And you know what wouldve made meditating a hell of a lot easier? A tent. Nothing big or ornate, just a humble cloth shelter to help keep the rain and wind off my body. Its not as though a tent wouldve stopped me from teaching my disciples to forsake earthly things. I would just say, Dispossess yourself of all things, except a tent. And maybe a blanket. Pillows, an obvious worldly luxury, would be forbidden.

Oh, you know what else wouldve been great? A tea kettle. I would have killed for a tea kettle.

A sweater or a jacket really wouldnt have been the end of the world either, and theres also a lot to be said for a decent pair of shoes. And what harm would there have been in having, say, a flute? Itd be nice to unwind with some music at the end of a long day of rigorous reflection. Again, Im talking about very modest possessions here. Nothing you couldnt easily fit in a satchel, which, yes, wouldve been nifty as well.

How about a little carving of a monkey? Honestly, I think it wouldve been fun to have had that to look at from time to timea wooden one, nothing carved from precious stones or anything. I cant imagine not being able to break free from the eternal cycle of death and rebirth because of a tiny monkey figurine, can you?

If Im being completely honest, its not just the lack of possessions I regret. I also probably spent way too much of my time on earth meditating. Just sitting there on the hard ground doing nothing but pondering the infinite day after day when there are so many wonderful things to see and do in the world. I couldve meditated just once a week and probably been perfectly fine. What a waste. I lived 80 years, and frankly, I blew it. I should have just tried to enjoy myself.

Seriously, why suffer?

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If I Could Do It All Over Again, I'd Probably Have A Few Possessions - The Onion (satire) (blog)

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