Theres no shortage of things to be mad about in late capitalism. Pretty high on the list, though, is the Eat, Pray, Love brand of pseudoscience promoted by Gwyneth Paltrows Goop. Somehow, Goopwhich previously encouraged women to shove eggs up their vaginashas out-Gooped itself: the brand is now promoting stickers called Body Vibes. The product, which I remind you, is literally a sticker, uses NASA space suit material to rebalance the energy frequency in our bodies, whatever the actual fuck that means.

Human bodies operate at an ideal energetic frequency, but everyday stresses and anxiety can throw off our internal balance, depleting our energy reserves and weakening our immune systems, Goop says on its website. Body Vibes stickers (made with the same conductive carbon material NASA uses to line space suits so they can monitor an astronauts vitals during wear) come pre-programmed to an ideal frequency, allowing them to target imbalances.

Yes, these sentences sound like what youd expect if you threw Enya lyrics in a blender. But whats somehow worse is that Body Vibes is trying to invoke our beloved space agency to bolster its legitimacy. Obviously, we had to go to the pros.

A representative from NASAs spacewalk office told Gizmodo that they do not have any conductive carbon material lining the spacesuits. Spacesuits are actually made of synthetic polymers, spandex, and other materials that serve a purpose beyond making their wearer look like a resident of Nightmare Coachella.

Gizmodo has asked Body Vibes to provide us with the peer-reviewed research that supports their claim that their astronaut stickers have any impact on the human body. Weve also asked Body Vibes and Goop for theirresponse to NASAs assertion that they definitely do not use a carbonate material to line their spacesuits. So far, no luck on either front.

It gets worse. The stickerswhich run as high as $120 for a pack of 24promise to assuage various ailments, including anxiety and pain, using something called Bio Energy Synthesis Technology. This is not a scientific concept, but rather an invention of AlphaBioCentrix, a Nevada-based biotech company that sells Quantum Energy Bracelets and Health Pendants. AlphaBioCentrixs founder, Richard Eaton, was apparently inspired to help create Body Vibes after meeting some engineers in a dark alleyway several years ago. Or maybe at Gwyneths pied--terre in the Hamptons. Who can say.

Without going into a long explanation about the research and development of this technology, it comes down to this; I found a way to tap into the human bodys bio-frequency, which the body is receptive to outside energy signatures, Eaton told Gizmodo. He added that, conveniently, Most of the research that has been collected is confidential and is held as company private information.

Mark Shelhamer, former chief scientist at NASAs human research division, wasnt wooed by Body Vibes or its secret research.

Wow, he told Gizmodo. What a load of BS this is.

Shelhamer reiterated that space suits are not lined with carbon material, and that even if they were, it would be for adding strength to the suitnot for monitoring vital signs.

Not only is the whole premise like snake oil, the logic doesnt even hold up, he said. If they promote healing, why do they leave marks on the skin when they are removed?

Unless they are operated by tiny wizards, who have been captured for the sole purpose of promoting Paltrows wellness empire, Body Vibes have literally no scientific basis. If you want to wear a sticker to feel good about yourself, thats finejust dont act like its fucking penicillin.

[h/t Meredith Bennett-Smith]

Update 1:25 pm: Goop has pulled their claim regarding NASA from its website, and provided the following statement to Gizmodo:

As we have always explained, advice and recommendations included on goop are not formal endorsements and the opinions expressed by the experts and companies we profile do not necessarily represent the views of goop. Our content is meant to highlight unique products and offerings, find open-minded alternatives, and encourage conversation. We constantly strive to improve our site for our readers, and are continuing to improve our processes for evaluating the products and companies featured. Based on the statement from NASA, weve gone back to the company to inquire about the claim and removed the claim from our site until we get additional verification.

Go here to see the original:

NASA Calls Bullshit on Goop's $120 'Bio-Frequency Healing' Sticker Packs [Updated] - Gizmodo